Trust and Obey
When I started the semester, I told myself that something had to change, something had to give. I had been so focused on other things that I would not take the time to sit and enjoy the presence of Jesus. I dreaded the thought of taking myself there mentally and I refused to do it. It was evident that I had been neglecting my spiritual walk, and it was affecting me to the point of me not wanting to leave my room. So, I'm sure you understand the problem here. Coming back to school, like I said, I told myself that my priorities and where I spend my time had to change, and thankfully they did.
Lately I've been reading the book of John (if you've never read John's account of Jesus' life, I highly recommend it). There are so many things I could say about different passages of the book that I've read so far, but I won't make this too long.
So far, the overarching message that is give from the book is finding belief among the disbelief. I cannot even begin to describe to you the amounts of disbelief among the people in Jesus' time. I was shocked, but not at all surprised, if that makes sense. Let me break it down a little bit. I was shocked at the fact that these people could watch Jesus turn water in to wine, give blind sight, teach the teachers and still question whether or not he was sent from Heaven. However, I was not surprised that, as humans, they did not believe that someone who looked just like them and had some of the same attributes as they did, was capable of doing such things and they couldn't. If I'm being honest, I would even say they were jealous, especially the Pharisees. For example, in John 9, Jesus gives a man, who has been blind since birth, the ability to see. This outraged the Jewish leaders. They were upset because Jesus had performed this miracle on the Sabbath.
If we are all honest with ourselves, sometimes we are that unbelief, we all doubt, we are those Pharisees who question the authority and ability of Jesus, and I hate that for us. I want to be on the other side of the disbelief. I want to resemble the people who received the wine, the man who could finally see, the teachers he taught. I want to see the work of God and be amazed at the sight of it. But for us to see that work happen in and through our lives, we must trust and obey. In John 9 when Jesus is giving the blind man sight, He tells him to go and wash in the pool of Siloam. This is what happened immediately following Jesus' command: "he left, washed, and came back seeing". He acted immediately, with trust and obedience. There were no questions asked. When I read this passage and started thinking about that significance of it, I realized a couple of things: Jesus' commands are not for us to consider, they are meant for immediate action and I am not the one who does the actual work, so why do I put all of the pressure on myself. I believe that if we go with this mindset and do the things the Lord commands, we cannot fail. The bible says in Deuteronomy 31:8 that "The Lord is the one who will go before you. He will be with you; he will leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged."
Like I mentioned in the beginning, not too long ago I was in a place spiritually where I had no self-control, no motivation to spend time with Jesus, and I was most safe in my room all by myself where no one else could see me failures. I was that Pharisee who had trouble believing all the things I had heard about Jesus. Since then, while reading and meditating on all of this has been crucial. This season is one of the pivotal moments in my spiritual growth. This is me taking a step back and actually learning all of the things I have heard in Sunday School my entire life. Going back to a place of childlike faith. I pray that that for you, whoever and wherever you are, that you will just take a minute and find that belief that will break down the walls keeping you hidden. So, go where he leads, know that he will be the one paving the path for you, know that he will be the one who provides the heart change. All he wants is for us to trust and obey.