Waiting on Us to Wait
Okay, let’s be vulnerable people. I have been struggling. Not just “struggling with my school work” type of struggle, but the “why am I having to go through all of this, God?” type of struggle. It has been literally problem after problem, mistake after mistake, worry after worry for the past few months. Between family issues, my relationship, my friendships, illnesses, insecurities, and anxieties, it has been a whirlwind of chaos. Usually, I can get knocked down and brush it off. No harm done, let’s just push forward. But this time, it wasn't like that. I have let these last few months of hardship affect me like never before. I have yelled, screamed, and cried to God, begging him to give me an answer to my question: Why? Why am I constantly given something new to worry about? Why can’t you give me a break? Why is my grandma constantly getting worse? Why is my family going through this? Why can’t I find happiness in my friendships? Why do I not feel pursued? Why do I care what this person thinks of me so much? Why aren’t I stronger? Better? More confident? Why?
After months of bitterness, sadness, anger, and confusion I found myself reading in Habakkuk. The first few verses of the book literally says, “How long, Lord, must I call for help and you do not listen or cry out to you about violence and you do not save? Why do you force me to look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Oppression and violence are right in front of me” (verses 2-3). How many times have I felt like Habakkuk? Wondering and questioning why God is allowing these things to happen to me? I find myself asking him why am I even calling out for help because it feels like he isn’t even listening. But, then God gives his first answer: “…be astounded! For I am doing something in your days that you will not believe when you hear about it” (verse 5). This is when he brings me to my knees. He is working in my life. He is bringing me out of this depression. He is bringing me help and comfort and peace in my time of need. But when? Why not now?
Habakkuk goes on to pray his second prayer, and he questions God (a lot like I have been doing). He asks. “Why are you silent?” Why God, why are you silent?
In chapter 2, Habakkuk waits. He waits, on guard, for the Lord to respond. And when He answers, oh does he answer. He says, “Though it delays, wait for it, since it will certainly not be late” (verse 3).
This is the answer to my question. I just need to wait. Time after time, we wait on God. We wait for him to do something in our lives and we become impatient. We want to know why we are waiting for so long, but we never realize that God is waiting on us too. He is waiting on us to trust him. He is waiting on us to surrender those family issues, the relationship problems, the friendships, the illnesses, the insecurities, and the anxieties to him. He is waiting on us to wait on him so he can do incredible things in our lives. We may not get the answer when we want it, but His promise of deliverance will come right now time, it will not be late.
So like Habakkuk in chapter 3, I will rejoice instead of dwell. Though I am constantly finding new hardships among me, I will celebrate. I will cry out in thanks that I have a God who loves me and is never late. I will trust his timing and his ways. Will it be hard? Definitely. But oh, will it be worth it.
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there is not fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, thought he flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my Salvation! The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer and enable me to walk on mountain heights!” Habakkuk 3:17-19