Do You Not See It?
I am lost, confused, scared. What do I do now? Where do I go next? I know that I serve a God of seasons. I know that I am in the winter. But what comes next? When will it stop storming? It seems like every time I try to shovel my way out of the snow storm, an avalanche hits. I begin to dig my way out, and the storm hits again. It seems that I am stuck in this winter. I ask, “God, what are you doing?” And He responds, “I am doing something new. Do you not see it?”
Honestly, no. I do not see it. I am blinded by my pride, by my fear. I am overwhelmed. I am weak. But He is doing something new.
I am insecure in my relationships, my friendships. But He is doing something new.
I am walking alone, isolated. But He is doing something new.
I am giving everything I have into the ministries He has placed me in, but it seems like I am not getting fed from those around me. But He is doing something new.
I am not excited about my summer. I am fearful and ashamed. But He is doing something new.
As I am reading Isaiah 43 I stop in awe when I come to verses 18 and 19. It says, “Do not remember the past event, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” God has delivered the Israelites from Egypt, but He is telling them to forget that. But why? Why would God want them to forget such a miraculous rescue? Verse 19 answers this question with Him saying that He is about to do something new! This new thing is going to make the Israelites’ deliverance look pale in comparison. The new thing ends up being the birth and life of the Messiah, who made a way in the wilderness for His people. But as I go through this season of life, thinking, “God, what about all of these things you have done for me before? Where are you now?” He speaks clearly and sovereignly saying, “But look child, I am doing something new. Don’t you see it?”
No, I don’t see it exactly. I don’t see what He is doing, but I know He is working inside me. I know that even through this sadness and despair He is doing something new. He is strengthening me day by day, even though I do not feel it all the time. He is pushing me further out into the storm so that I can grow. I am learning. I am rebuilding. I am rediscovering who God is and who I am through Christ. I am hearing Him speak more clearly through His word. He is nourishing me through His words just like He promised the Israelites (verse 20). He is calming my anxieties slowly and in His time. He is teaching me how to deal with my sadness by putting all my heart into growing in my relationship with Him. I am developing a thirst that can only be quenched by reading His word. All of this is happening slowly and while I do not know why I am stuck in this winter and how this is just a part of God’s plan, I do know that He is doing something new. I know that whatever the outcome of this storm is that it will be glorious. It will be refreshing. It will be okay. He doing something new and I am receptive and expectant.